i'm at sea

Can't wait for National Service

2009-03-31T07:34:00.009+08:00

Yea.. Cos i'm bored. And lazy to find a new job :D
Since I'm free, I'm gonna name all the jobs I've done.

1) Singapore Post
2) Translink Logistics.. company name changed to Agility. I think.
3) Some IT company packing Apple and Microsoft products.
4) Guardian Pharmacy
5) Sentosa Leisure Group.. still with them but.. i'll think about it :D

Anyway, i miss school. 4 years in ITE. The best days of my life.
The day i opt for ITE after my N level results.. kinda shocked my parents but hey, its my life. I'm planning it fer myself. Not a single regret till now.

Kudos to my friends. Countless of them. Funny, crazy, weird but mostly crazy. Don't think i'm gonna forget whatever we did. If you have time, go Youtube and search "Maut TV". We have our own internet show! Haha. Those were the days...

Like what my mom told me.. if you can study, go study.
Working life sucks. Yupp.. she told me that & i gotta
agree with her since the number of jobs I've done.
Enjoy as much as you can.. enlarge you circle of friends.
Well.. i don't mind.. but hopefully i can get into Poly after my NS.
And results for Higher Nitec is tomorrow! Don't think I'm gonna do well anw. As long as a pass? :D

Can't wait for class BBQ next week. Since I'm the one planning it, all i need is your time to reply me ASAP! I need to know if you guys can make it cos i need to book the pit 4 days in advance. If more people, $10 per head. If not, $15 per head.
I know when it comes to money, its a terrifying affair.
Which includes me cos currently I'm broke.

Anw, see this video and turn up the volume. Its cute..
Witness the graceful, lightning-quick hunting technique of this expert feline hunter.

Cat Wants Aquarium Fish - Watch more Funny Videos

ROFLMAO

2009-02-06T00:20:00.002+08:00

Sombong.

2008-10-31T15:11:00.003+08:00

I saw a singh driving a subaru WRX!!

How often do you see that??!!

and wearing a red turban..

fierce!

I need a job. Not at Guardian.

2008-10-29T21:04:00.008+08:00

hmm..

hello.

Its been a long time yea.

i was googling about pocket bikes and saw this lil cute guy.

This is by far the coolest pocket bike! $480.

Pocket bikes are smaller version of normal bikes.. not legal for road use. And it can hold my body weight! :D

Fat hope my parents will allow me to have this.

Happy Ramadan!

2008-09-01T23:00:00.002+08:00

Keepin' it short n sweet.

Been going out with love everyday. Either i ask her out or i paksa her out. Sorry but i keep missing you.. what to do :D She say i'm on cloud nine.. well, i think its about time for me to get married. HAHA.

Drove somewhere the other day, she was bitten 3 4 times by a mozzie. Tried to look for it but didn't appear. While driving, it flew past my face. (Was on the expressway, if not i would have let go of the steering wheel) You clever donkey.. wait till i come hunt for you.. I'm gonna peel your wings for hurting my girl! :p

I wonder what's her surprise for me this Saturday. Can't wait!
And i promise, your b'dae surprise gonna be 10x better :)

Exams next tuesday. Alot to cover in a week. Die.
After that Geylang Bazaar!!
And friends, do plan with me when we'll go for Raya outing. Need to book the car :)

The funeral procession under my block is noisy!

2008-06-18T21:46:00.005+08:00

Work morning shift today.. at last. Now i know why my store manager always work in the morning as all i had to do is receive stocks, well, just chop.. sign here and there and attend to a few customers..

Less customers = less work = makan gaji buta!

And one of my colleague is pregnant.. after nearly having a divorce. Good for her. And bad luck for me cos i have to work alone this friday as she's going for checkup. Well, she did say she will repay by covering work for me if i wanna have off days :D That's more of a good news to me than knowing she's pregnant. Working alone suck balls.

Was chit chatting with suriati when a filipino lady came in and said "where to find string for tit?" I was like stunned for awhile. And she repeat the same sentence again. I was like, "am i hearing this for real?" I look towards suriati she didn't know what she meant. I was like, "aren't you suppose to know what she wants?" From the sound of it, "tit" comes from a female vocabulary. Soon the lady was pointing towards her mouth. Then i realise.. it was "string for the teeth".

Rupa-rupa nya dental floss -.-" Lidah pendek rupa nya. Well, serving customers sometimes are fun. And some indonesian guy came in and ask, "kamu pakai itu nokia tak?" I was doing stocks when he asked suriati. I was lending a ear. Suriati was saying whether he meant prepaid cards. Then he said, "ada handphone charger tak? Battery saya sudah mati.." He sighed for awhile, then walk off. I was laughing like crazy across the store and as usual, suriati will say "TAK SAYANG NYAWA ORANG2 NIE TAU!" There's alot of weird people around asking for weird things. Some ask for bulbs.. some ask for elephant glue.. some call us just to ask why the shop across us never pick up their phone. I told suriati maybe we need to change Guardian Pharmacy to Guardian pharmacy cum electronics store cum DIY store cum information counter.

And my cousin recommend me this link about Chuck Norris. If you happens to know him, you will laugh throughout reading the facts. Click here.

Allahu Akbar

2008-05-08T21:04:00.003+08:00

Guess this picture.

Its Allah's name written on the sky. I took it from a friend of mine. Sorry i didn't ask your permission for it :p Anw, when i look at it, it left me speechless. And soon my tears start to roll down. I just can't describe how i felt exactly. I was scared. And i really miss Mecca. As if Allah is calling me back to visit Kaa'bah. Till now, my eyes are red and the feeling is still strong. I will surely ask my mom to bring my whole family back there. I will.

Allah, I'm sorry for all the wrong doings.
I really do.

Sorry.

2008-05-07T20:52:00.004+08:00

To my dear whom i love and care always.

I may be different for this past days or weeks. I'm not sure myself why. Maybe its just my mood.. hopefully it'll be gone soon. Don't think we're drifting. I do not have any other girls in my life except you dear. Only you i love and i might not show it. Maybe when i'm normal again i'll show the true meaning of love. I love you.

- Fadhil J.

I'm buying. End of story.

2008-05-01T22:10:00.004+08:00

British invasion!

2008-04-04T12:32:00.009+08:00

Yeap, me and her went to watch it yesterday with some other ITE students. Actually its for CEMTA students, and to tell you the truth, i don't know what it stands for. I guess its for those bands, dancers and etc. Since they have excess tickets, her friends invited us. But before i say anything else..

THIS SHOW ROCKS!!!
Well, as you can see from the title, they did rock n roll us up.

I ended work at 5.30 and had to meet them ard 6.30 at tampines and due to the bad weather, i was drenched from knee down. Useless umbrella. The show was 3 hours long, 8 to 11pm. But every second of it is worth it. I almost lost my voice screaming. Some of us were so engrossed till she has to pull me to sit down.. haha. And not to forget the british live band was amazing.. playing all Queen's songs splendidly! Haha. As you can see from the price, its a lil too steep. If you can afford it, do watch it. No regrets!

Here are some of the pics.
As photography is not allowed, we curi2 take this two photos :D

foot foot foot.. freestylor!

2008-04-01T22:21:00.003+08:00

Watch this video first..
Then you can proceed to the next one.

Awesome Lifelike Robotic Dog - Watch more free videos

Now watch this..

More Video of Lifelike Robotic Dog - Watch more free videos

Thanks to fid for sharing this video.. haha.

Went to visit shimada at paris miki with my gurl to have my eyes checked. Been having this weird feeling for the past few days. My eyes are tired whereas my body aren't. At last i got to sit on those cool seat at the optometrists!! Jakon okay.. cos i'm the only one in the family who doesn't need specs. Firstly check my degrees.. so far so good. Mada told me i'm short sighted but its not to worry about. No wonder everytime i tend to read books the words are like jumbled up together. So i've got a reason why i did badly for maths.. haha. After a few procedures, i asked mada to check my eye pressure. I thought it was a normal device that lights will shine my eyes and everything will be over but i was wrong. She told me to beware cos it will blow air to my eyes. I was like scared for a second.. but what made it worst was each eye will receive 3 blows. I'm like ohh gawd.. here it goes. The first blow made me laugh like mad. Next is my left eye.. not 3 but 8 blows!! I guess my eyes are too sepet -.-" At the end mada told me my right eye is okay but my left is below normal.. meaning low pressure. But she reassured me that its all due to fatigue. I think i'm gonna see an eye specialist about my eye muscle as told by shimada. Better be safe than sorry!

Me and my gurl head down to airport (i shall not eleborate what happened between us..) and straight to viewing mall. After a few silent moments, kindergarten kids starts pouring in. There's this incident when two chinese kids were happily talking loudly and the teacher interfered..

Teacher: Are you two talking or quarreling??
Kids: We are quarreling!! (Since they don't want to get into trouble..)
Teacher: Quarreling??!! Since when quarreling can smile-smile and laugh!
Kids: Hahahah.. (i'm sure they were like pheww!..)

Kids nowadays know how to get away with everything.
Then we head down to Changi Airport Clubhouse at T2. Yupp, i'm sure some of you have not heard of that place before. She brought me there to eat and i was like amazed. There's a badminton court, an outdoor tennis court and restaurant plus some other facilities in such a small space. The food is super cheap for a 4-star restaurant. Super delicious too.

On the way to the bus terminal, she met and spoke to a long lost friend. A guy, macho and taller than me. I was standing right infront of him smiling and he didn't twitched a muscle to look back. I was just waiting for him to salam.. brothers of Islam way of saying hello. He then buat bodoh and walk out with her completely ignoring my existence. I just can't tolerate this kind of attitude. He seems to be working at Fish n Co. If one day i bring out my gurl to eat there, i'm gonna say out loud ASSALAMUALAIKUM when i'm about to enter. Haha. I donno why i feel sorry for these kind of people.

Anyway, its one heck of a long post. Just to cut it short here. Bcoz of Naz, i can't ajak the boys out for supper today! Ada2 je ah lu! Haha. Hopefully by this week can meet up. One car and three bikes side by side...

My cries are one in a lifetime...
and it needs no explanation.

Little devil

2008-03-20T09:49:00.003+08:00

Work has been okay so far. Getting the hang of being a cashier. But when it comes to me putting the items in the plastic bag, i have this "here-it-goes-again" feeling that some people, especially caucasians, have nothing better to say but "its ok, i do not need the bag.. save the planet" or worst "stop giving bags.. you're killing the planet". I'm like HELLO!! First of all i didn't manufacture this damn thing. 2nd thing its for your convenience. 3rd thing its already being manufactured.. so if you don't use it, its gonna be thrown as garbage at the end of the day! Plastic don't reincarnate! As they say, customers are always right. My ass.

Fid paid me a visit. I walk out and had dessert with him at this stall next to the store. Chit chat for 1/2 hr. As in-charge is not in and susie's the blur2 type, i took my own sweet time :D Like people use to say, work smart not work hard! :D

I asked susie if i can replace her to work on friday and she said okay. But she don't know that friday's a public holiday. My pay will be doubled or x1.5% more :D

Off days couldn't be better going out with my girl. Went to T3 yesterday to walk around and ate at Popeye's for lunch. Roti dia okay pe naz! Kena get used to it! Haha. And my chinese classmate happens to work there. Sapa tah nama dia. While waiting for our meal, there's this indian girl who ngah shiok sendiri singing a song and when she saw my boring face staring at her, she paiseh and came to us saying "ordering 2 meals je? Tak nak order lagi ke?" She happens to understand Malay and i replied her "sure.. i can eat more if you give me free!!" She kept quiet. Haha -.-"

Miss the guys mann. Both the classmates and cousins. Its been a super long time since i hang out with them. I'm sure the bbq was great but sadly i can't make it. Haizz. Hopefully the last week of hols can have gathering before project term starts.

tulibu dibu douchoo!

2008-03-18T09:50:00.004+08:00

This should be voted video of the year.
And s'pore idol judge Ken Lee happens to be in the lyrics.

The bbq will begin in a few hours time. Sadly there's no one else to cover the job for me. ARGH!!!! Well, i still can make up my mind whether to go or not. If i go, $23+ will be in my pocket soon.. if not i'll be getting $45+ for this week only! Hurhur..

Welcome to Guardian!

2008-03-16T23:41:00.007+08:00

See this.. one cool advertisement.

Awareness Test - Watch more free videos

Shuffle!

2008-03-05T22:16:00.011+08:00

Now see this..

Pretty cool eh?
Now go tag..

A big hole in my pants -.-"

2008-03-03T19:51:00.003+08:00

Ok..
i'm about to blog.. again.. at last.

Was watching 'Mandai United' on suria yesterday night..
and something caught my attention.. (other than pretty girls on tv.. hehe :p) this actress said something about "..if men don't lie to women, they shouldn't be called men.." i'm like WHAT??!! HELLO! 27% of guys aren't like that okay! that includes me :D Well.. to tell you the truth.. i did lie to my girl a few times.. BUT on a good purpose.. to surprise her bdae gift.. and so on.. i cant recall when i lied to her for negative reasons.. if you girls got cheated by your guy.. im sorry to say but you chose the other 73%.. get to know him well before you go out on a date.. but well.. 68% of girls nowadays go for looks.. but if you get dumped.. good for you!

Enough of that..
had EI test at 9.. end at 10.. it was okay.. coz we curi2 bukak buku! haha! :p
since we have 3hrs to burn, off to the soccer pitch!.. street soccer court that is.. near simpang bedok.. all of us were rushing to avoid the dark clouds.. played awhile.. it rained.. and continued playing back for a good 2hrs plus.. and stop around 12.30. i should have sat down, cool myself down but i pandai2 ask mizi for his motorbike keys cos i wanna "prah" around the court. Put in the keys.. turn on the ignition.. lift up one of my leg.. and "PRAKKK!!".. a freaking big hole in my pants.. i was like.. "ohh shit".. and ilyas happens to be there.. he did notice it but thank the almighty god he didn't make a noise.. so yea.. to cover up i prah around the court and step nothing happened. i cant simply keep my mouth shut from the guys about it cos the hole is freaking big la.. a football can go thru it seh.. no kidding! and so i announce to them about my pants.. asked them for any extra shorts but they got none.. so i had to use my uniform to "tie" around the back of my pants.. and took a cab home. examined it and luckily it still can be repaired. will do that tomorrow i hope. so its gonna be jeans for school in the meantime.

had an interview at Guardian at 4. it went well.. filled up the usual forms.. and since a friend of mine works there.. she informed me of a job vacancy there.. thanks again.. owe u one! hopefully receiving a call from the boss soon.. will be dead bored at home for the holidays soon. need moolah fast!!

to my friends.. all the best for your exams!
and to you especially.. i miss you. need no more explanations. :)

Rambo!

2007-12-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

Some might have already know that i'm driving a new car..

Its Honda Stream.
Don't say eww.. it doesn't look exactly like that..
Mine's nicer. Chey.

This morning my cousin came across this website..
And what do you know.. i met my old Getz! It was a sad reunion.
Haiz.. missed the happy times we had together.

So kawan2.. if you have $40K to spend.. why not take care of my good ol' fren for me :D

U might wanna click here to know more!

Anw, i hate holidays.. i mean i hate it when other students are having their holz at the same time. I thought of watching a movie with her at Vivo.. well, its after Xmas.. and i thought everyone will be back working or what-so-ever.. but i was wrong. Its the attack of the students at the cinema! The queue was gilerr long.. and practically ALL the movie showtimes are in red.. meaning selling fast.. sadly, got to know that only one seat left. I don't wish to express how i felt after that.. i'm sure you guys felt it before yourself :)

School reopens next wednesday.. for THEM!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!
FREEDOM!! FREEEEDOMMM!!
Planning to catch a movie and go to the zoo.. global warming on the rise.. so its better to see them before its too late..

Our anniversary a few days away.. our 6th mths.
Hoping we'll last forever.. Insyallah :)
From a simple hello to goodnight messages..
Poems after poems..
It all drops down to 3 simple, yet powerful words..
I Love You. :)

Hmm..

2007-12-09T21:25:00.000+08:00

OK.. first of all..

I'm BORED.

Well.. got back from nenek's place ard 7.. since i'm the driver for my mom today.. i did not object from going there coz i wanna see the "charlie's angel".. not that movie but they're my cousins.. 3 girls aged idk what.. so thats y i nicknamed them that.. they pretty much gonna be there for 35 days.. their parents are away for Hajj.. and kite sebok2 jaga them la.. and the youngest sejak dah pandai jalan.. and unfortunately my nenek's place is a maisonette.. suka la naik turun tangga.. and i havta jaga her.. the best part, she went up and down practically 6 times.. she was having the time of her life.. while i was in the midst of getting a heart attack.. But it was a good exercise tho..

I did tell Aslina about the girls.. I thought of bringing them for a walk or eat out.. early preparation for us to start a family kan? Hahah.. And pikir2 balik.. the youngest pakai pampers.. mati jugak aku kena tukar kn eh.. So ya.. thought on hold for now.

Holidays are ard the corner.. thinking whether to work or not.. well, holidays are the best time to enjoy with ur loved ones.. and i've already made plans with her.. Kalau kerja tkda time plak.. Hmm.. Well, whatever it is.. i've been thinking of working at Watson's.. (i'm not a wuss ok!).. but hey.. the pay's good.. and kerja quite senang la :p Again.. thought on hold.

Anw, looking forward to Naz's chalet on the 28th.. mari kita PARTAYYY!! haha..

So, thats all i gotta say..

Happy new year to all! :D

Ramadhan - A month of forgiving

2007-09-18T10:26:00.000+08:00

It seems that Ramadhan has its uniqueness. Other than me, some whom i know who have problems, it seems their patience is a lil higher these days. Other than just grieving in my problems, i do feel sad for theirs. But like i said, this month, just dekatkn diri denganNya. Doa2 sebanyak2 nya. Insyallah Dia mendengarnya. Its okay to cry, just like i did during terawih. And i can truly say i miss being in Mecca. I hope i can wipe my tears at the Kaabah once more.. Insyallah.

I kinda feel lost now. I don't have my beauty sleep for the first few nights. Always awakened every hour just to peek at my phone, whether she did message me. But no. But its okay. Whenever my phone beeps, i was hoping it was from her. But no. It was either my friends or cousin.

So basically, this is how i felt during Ramadhan. I hope this problems would fade away or be solved, insyallah.

I got nothing much to say and i'm trying hard not to break down again now. Sorry, guys who cries have soul. So ya..

So whoever wants to break fast with me, i'm a phone call away ya. Cos i can't stand being at home. Especially when my dad's around. Another problem of mine. So if i decided to take a break somewhere this few days alone, i hope you all understand aite. I know how to take care of myself.

Thats it i guess. May Him bless all of you.. Insyallah.

Ya Allah.. apalah kesalahan ku? Aku bingun..
Senangkn lah cabaran untuk hamba mu ini.. Insyallah.

And if you're appearing offline in msn, please don't.
Its okay if you do not want to talk..
but let me see you online so i know you're alrite..

And close to heart..

Miss you.

30.06.07

2007-07-02T16:03:00.000+08:00

When you said Yes,
my heart stopped for a second.
I was speechless, overjoyed!
It felt surreal.

Wanting to know my reaction,
all i did was to put it simply,
by clinching your hands tighter.
Its a yes from me too.

Our love story.
Began 10 months ago,
when my eyes catches upon you.
I thought we can only be friends,
until you believed in me,
opening up your heart.

We've been through alot together.
Remembering the fun-filled days spent with you,
and forgetting, never again going through, the dark gloomy days.

As a new chapter begins,
I'll continue showing, guiding you the way.
Believe me when i say,
my love for you will never fade.

Whenever you're with me,
I'll do whatever i can,
to show you Love is a beautiful,
wonderful feeling.

I'll cherish every moment with you.
Insyallah, sampai ke jinjang pelamin :)

I love you Aslina.
Turly. Deeply.

When i'm gone.

2007-06-12T12:25:00.000+08:00

4 more days till i fly off.
Time flies fast.

Umrah.
It might be the first for me.
And last.
Only God knows.

And since i'm still here,
Let me have the opportunity to say a few things.

I've tried to be a good person.
I want to be a good person.
I know i've made mistakes.
And to those i've hurt,
I'm deeply truly sorry.

To all those out there,
You mean so much to me.
I enjoyed every single moments.
I'll always remember the good times.

And especially you.
Thank you for your company.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for getting to know me.
I know i've hurt you alot.
Truly deeply sorry from my heart.

When i'm not around anymore,
I just want you all to know,
Life's full of challenges.
Don't give up and just keep fighting.
Accept the challenges from above.

One day, you'll have happiness.
I may not be there to experience it,
But i'll know,
And i'll keep praying for you.

Be sincere with your loved ones.
Enjoy while it last.
No point arguing.
Its good to give in.

I think i've said enough.
Do pray for my safe journey.
Whatever happens,
Tuhan yang lebih mengetahui.

When i'm there,
All of you will be in my prayers.

Insyallah,
Everything will be okay.
To see me here again :)

I Want To Grow Old With You.

2007-06-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

Another day without your smile
Another day just passes by
But now I know how much it means
For you to stay right here with me

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you, I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you, I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you, sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

A thousand miles between us now
It causes me to wonder how
Our love tonight remains so strong
It makes our risk right all along

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you, I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you, I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you, sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Things can come and go I know but
Baby I believe
Something's burning strong between us
Makes it clear to me

I wanna grow old with you, I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you, I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you, sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Speech giving heart.

2007-06-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

When i was out with you,
I enjoyed every moment.
I never felt so different.

Looking straight in your eyes,
Seeing you smile,
And foremost, your company.
I wasn't thinking about other things,
Except to make our day a memorable one.

When we were silent on the hill,
I looked up to the night sky,
Praying,
Hoping this would never end.

I hate to say goodbye.
But sadly, God created time.
And i was hesitant to let you go.

All i can hope for is for a 2nd time.
And more to come.

Don't believe me when i say
I LOVE YOU.
But let me prove it to you.

I know its hard.
I know you're scared.
But one day,
We will overcome that fear,
Together.

Your new heart.
A sense of insecurities.
Everyday lives and stories you take in,
Making it more fragile as time passes.

But at the end of the day,
Follow whats in your heart,
Not in your mind.

Do not be afraid.
My hand will always be reaching out,
Waiting for yours to lay sincerely on mine.

When i think back,
I've never been so sincere to anyone before,
Except you dear.

This is no sweet talk.
But a heart, so pure, crying out.

I am friendly.
I do make people laugh.
But when i'm facing someone,
who i love and care the most,
Its normal to be speechless. :)

Once more.

2007-05-18T08:12:00.000+08:00

Why is it so hard to blog?
Maybe i'm just thinking too much and too hard.

Let me put it simply.
Whatever you've said, i'm not taking it in. :)
I'm still here. Not facing other directions.

Coz i'm true to my heart. Period.

Eventhough its been a hurtful journey,
For which it doesn't really matters.

Lala.

2007-05-15T19:16:00.000+08:00

Isn't it great to be around me? A happy-go-lucky type of person. Always cheerful. Rarely see me down or what so ever. And teasing me is an everyday thing for you. I know its fun to you. But i'm here to tell you all humans have emotions. Once, twice, its ok. But doing it till the end of time, i don't think so. Lets just imagine, you were in my state. Would you like it? I'm pretty sure the answer is NO. And it applies to rudeness too. And like how i would put it, "Respect me and then i'll respect you back.."

For some of you who are still clueless, i'll be flying off on the 16th of June. Umrah. I'll be away for 10 days. Am i ready for it? Well, its not easy being sinless. I have so much to say but mudah mudahan dengan keizinan Allah, perjalanan ku akan dimudahkan. Insyallah. And you, i'll pray hard for you once i'm there. And if i cry buckets, thats how much you mean to me. :)

would you go out with me before i fly off? Coz i got so much to say. Thats all i'm asking, for now.

For You.

2007-01-04T17:51:00.000+08:00

Not a poem nor a song.
Letting out what my heart has been keeping since the 1st day.

Just pictures then your figure.
Standing tall right infront of my eyes.
I smiled to myself. Full of hopes.
I thought it was just a usual glimpse.
Till i get to know you.

A brand new chapter filled my heart.
From the start, i know you're different.
An angel's heart. Laying low.
You said you're not perfect.
And neither am i.
But i don't care.

Days became months.
The more you trusted me.
The more i fall for you.
I did not show my love to you.
Coz to me, its a gamble.

I'm scared of saying I Love You.
You might not be ready for it.
Or worst, you'll change towards me.

To you, i'm just a friend.
To me, you're my everything.
I'm scared of losing you.
Coz you're one of a kind.

Every minute of every day.
You'll be on my mind.
Every prayer i did is for you.
Hoping you'll be safe and sound.

I will never know whats the future will be like.
Holding hands with you?
Smiling, giggling with the one i love?
Only time will tell.

And in the event,
you've already found the love of your life,
do not think back of what I've done for you.

I may be heartbroken.
But I'll be happy for you.
Coz all i wanted to see is your smile.
And foremost, you being happy.

Well, i shall stop here.
I won't know whats your reaction.
But i'm here to tell you truthfully,
Of what i think about you.

Coz i won't know,
If i'm still here for you tomorrow.

End.

Taichi and Helen

2006-12-31T00:43:00.000+08:00

Well. This month was quite hectic for me. And i guess its fair if i update my blog.
I shall summarize it up of what my December was like.

Firstly, a trip to KL with my family. It was mediocre. Not that exciting. KL is like Jurong to me, if you know what i mean. Shop. Eat. Shop. Eat. And if you happens to be there, don't be shy to enter those branded shops. Like those in Paragon's. I was in slippers n plain black tee's and they were looking at me as if i'm one of those Malaysian mats. Where else can you try on expensive clothes! And do remember to speak English. So they know you're a tourist. Haha. Basically, thats it.

And a few days later, went for a camping trip to Sister's island with my cousins. 2 days 1 night. But its an experience i won't ever forget. Stubborn boys going to sleep over at some "keras" isolated island. But luckily we survived without a hitch. Well, i'm sure you people wanna know if i saw/hear/feel something out of the ordinary right? Well, all i can say is "they" are there. Weird sounds in the middle of the night. Torches all of the sudden go haywire. Candles being blown out while the night was calm and windless.

And i was practically roaming the island by myself alone around 6am and it was still pitch black. Well, i did that just to see whats my limit. The best part is, i can feel "they" are looking over me. And the feeling is one of a kind.

Well boys. Whats next? Hike to Gunung Ledang? Remember, No Guts No Glory!

Well, its getting late. Happy new year to all. And driving test here i come.

Priceless

2006-12-06T19:16:00.000+08:00

I remember when I'd run to you
through field of white flowers
Your embrace is my air
How I needed you there
And all of the world and
All of it's powers
Couldn't keep your love from me no
Couldn't keep your love from me

Cause I need you
Like the dragonfly's wings need the wind
Like the orphan needs home once again
Like heaven needs more to come in
I need you here like you've always been
And then I waved goodbye to you
From fields of white flowers
You were so proud of me
I was too proud to see that
All of the world and
All of it's powers
Couldn't keep your love from me no
Couldn't keep your love from me

Cause I need you
Like the dragonfly's wings need the wind
Like the orphan needs home once again
Like heaven needs more to come in
I need you here like you've always been

Taking for granted
(taking for granted)
... all of her smiles
That got away

And now I'm looking up to you
From fields of white flowers
You were so proud of me
I'm so proud of you
All of the world and
All of it's powers
Couldn't keep your love from me no
Couldn't keep your love from me

Cause I need you
Like the dragonfly's wings need the wind
Like the orphan needs home once again
Like heaven needs more to come in
I need you here

I need you
Like the dragonfly's wings need the wind
Like the orphan needs home once again
Like heaven needs more to come in
I need you here like you've always been

- Copeland

Click here to download this song.
Trust me. Its nice.

Am i refering to someone over this song?
Well, go figure.
Cos I'm perplexed. Period.

Juggling whats best.

2006-11-15T22:52:00.000+08:00

Im so burned out right now. Im actually half dead while writing this entry. Been busy with school end-of-year project. Head down to some void deck after school and meddling it. End up going home around 9+. Well. Gotta sacrifice my free time now. Next wk's the deadline. Thanks to that, i miss chatting with her. Eventhough its only been days. Well, i hope she understands why im not online as often as i used to. Whatever it is, i wont miss the oppurtunity to get closer to her. Anyway, i passed my FTT. My TP is on the 31st of January 2007. Yepp. A long way to go. And for those who have not seen the movie, V For Vendetta, do see it. Well, i know its an outdated movie. But i just love the way the script was written. Exceptionally good English. And its too political. So it applies only to some audiences. Well. Thats it for now. Cheerios~

I guess God's fair.

2006-11-01T21:14:00.000+08:00

Hmm. I dont know about you all but i suck at relationships stuff n all. Do you guys thinks so? Thats why im still single now. There's a point of time when my mind just go blank all of the sudden. Well lets just say im out of topic. I think God is fair. A handsome guy gets the girl. Who knows how to play around with words and get her attention. And maybe his personal life isnt fortunate like mine. Well. Lets just say im the opposite. Im not every girls dream guy. Like Duh! All i can say is money doesnt bring happiness. Some of you might think im a rich guy. Can get everything i want in this world. But buying a soulmate? Well i guess not. I always have this uncanny idea of mine, going to war and die for the sake of others. And one more concept which i think is more reasonable. Migrating and forget about the life im going through now. Well. I dont need anyone's sympathy. Like what people say. Being single wont die. So yea. Hopefully i can survive this world using that phrase. I surrender it all in god's hand. Feel free to leave a comment or two. I dont mind being commented like i feel i've been spit at like what some did. As if i've done something harsh to you. If i did, im sorry. Just do respect me for who i am. If you don't like me, then kill me. Feel free.

You.

2006-10-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

Hari raya was just ok. I was in no mood. Not sure why. I was more focused on my driving lessons and defering my NS. Or maybe i was thinking bout her too often. But i cant help it. Every sec of every hour. Some of you would know who im refering to. Some say i should get a better one. But i gezz they're refering to her looks. But what the hell. Im the one who is falling in love. I don't mind the looks. Its her inside that counts. She's so perfect. In a sense that she fulfills my criteria. Ok. Enuf of that. So yea. Back to where we started. I just cant wait for syawal to end. The sinful stuff that we eat. Its just terrible. I'll be a member of Planet Fitness soon. Its cheap anyway. $60 for a mth. Was just glazing away at vivocity and saw their new gym. Mann. It was superb. Well yea. I really wanna get in shape. My deadline: May 07. Aniwae i will be having my holidays soon aft my exams. 4 mths of enjoyment. Most prolly heading to Europe with my uncle n cousins. Well. Thats it. Im tired.

One fine day

2006-09-07T00:58:00.001+08:00

A new day comes. And im 18. Woke up at dawn. 6am to be exact. How nice to be waking up early on this commemorative day. Held up my cellphone with my slumbersome eyes. A message or two from my friends. "Happy birthday Fadhil!" plus some other nonessential phrases. Felt appreciated for once. Coz i dont get this kind of "treatment" on my previous birthdays. I know its sad. But to me, its like any other day. If not for Friendster birthday reminder, no one would care. Riteeee? Naah. I dont care anyway. Lets go on. Head down to CMPB for checkup. Everything went fine. Ended ard 1. Met up with my parents and head for Ubi Driving Centre. Enrolled for motorcar license with uncertain wobbly mind. The registration was like solving Einstein's equation. Simply don't understand how it works. I was more interested in paying than understanding it. I was like, "Money? Pay at the counter? Sure! Will do!" One gift i really appreciate. Thanks mom. Head out for dinner in the evening. To simpang bedok. It was my idea. My parents had their own ideas. Head down to Swensens or Pizza Hut. I rejected saying "naah.. its ok.. you've done enuf for me today.." I know its not a place for some to enjoy their birthday treats. But the food there is awesome. And the bill was $27. How cheap. Well. Im gonna stop here. Birthday boy wanna have some shut eyes.

Behind every door..

2006-08-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

I felt different for the past hour. I was confused, worried, sad and scared. I can't foresee what will happen next. After reading a blog which belongs to a friend of mine, it makes me wonder. Wondering deep inside. To know how fortunate i am. I thank god for everything. He has the heart and soul to say out loud about his personal life. He is a friend, unlike any other. Quiet. Observant. Funny. Weird. I thought he was a normal teenager like me. But i was wrong. A mother's love that he will inherit in his heart forever. Diagnosed with cancer and a time span of 5 years more to live. A battle she will fight bravely till the end. To you my friend, i'm always there for u. Supporting. Praying. In the end, it's all in god's hand. Two words. Be strong. And for myself, im afraid of god. I will shed tears whenever there's a "marhaban" at the mosque. I will think back mistakes i've made. And willing to learn from it. One word that is in my life now. Respect. It applies to everything. From the elderly to the opposite sex. For some of you who might know me better, i've never used any vulgars to girls especially. The word Gentleman is created for a purpose. Wherever i look now, i see malay guys with tattoos and ear pierced. All for one purpose. Attracting girls. What happened to their religion? I feel sad for them. And the word love? Does it mean loving someone because of their looks? Their appearances? And what about the inside? The heart? Well, things are changing. Hmm. So yea. That's all i gotta say for now~

Final words

2006-07-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

Hey there pple.. i know its been months since i last update my blog.. yea.. can say im lazy.. but seriously there is nothing for me to express my feelings now.. so far everythin's as usual.. now im jus concentrating on myself.. but what i wanna achieve now is losing weight.. yea u can laugh now.. but since i got nutting betta to do.. whats more exciting then to exercise! so yea.. hopefully in the next coming months u will see the new me in Zara jacket size M!! and hopefully by then i'll get my driving license too!! hahaha.. can sae a tough job for me to do.. so.. hmm.. the next post will in 5 to 6 mths time? so.. thats all i can sae now.. till next time.. adios!

:: Specially for you... ::

2005-08-25T12:46:00.000+08:00

I'm here writing a poem
For a special friend
Who I know is always there
Someone to share my life with
Every hope, dream, and care

I know you have never seen me before
But I just want to express my feelings
Of what i think about you

Whenever I feel down or alone
You're always there to make me smile
Your soothing caring words
Or just by looking at your pictures

It's been great to have you around
Exchanging thoughts and feelings
Sharing funny stuff happening in life
And thus making me laugh

A special friend like you
Mean the world to me
When I think of something special
It is your face I see

Everything you mean to me
You could never know
In all the ways you've changed my life
I could never show

Before I get too mushy
It's time for me to go
But before I leave this ink-filled page
There's one thing you should know

As long as we are living
No matter when or where
If you ever need me
Just call and I'll be there

I'll climb a thousand mountains
And swim a thousand seas
Anything to be there
Cause you've been there for me.

- Fadhil Jr.

Until I met you

2005-07-09T19:09:00.000+08:00

I was a nobody until I met you.
You brought me happiness and hope.
I was just a simple guy with a simple dream,
That dream was to be loved and be someone.

It sure sounds easy, but is it?
If I wanna be someone, I'm gonna need an angel.
An angel that could change my life around.
And I think I found her already.

I know we just met,
But I feel like I've known you for years.
I've never found real love before,
Until my eyes fell for you.

And who wouldn't fall for you?
Just seeing your beautiful sparkling eyes.
And that special smile of yours.
Made me fall for you....this is just magical.

I think you're just too good to be true.
But I never thought of giving up on you easily.
I know you deserve a better guy than me,
But I'll do everything to show you how much you mean to me.

I know I've never said these beautiful words before,
Its just that I don't know how
To describe these feelings to you.
Because that's how deep I'm in love with you.

I didn't exactly know what love is,
Until there's you.
I've never believed in miracles,
Until I met you.

- Fadhil Jr.